Play dates and coffins
Tuesday, September 1, 2009 at 11:53AM “Mom! I need a perfect coffin!”
Never have words sounded so sweet to a mother’s ears.
We are having a play date today with a child who will be in WJ’s class this fall. This is the third such play date since returning from our summer travels. Today we took the biggest leap. This young friend and WJ have not really had much interaction yet at all. The first play date was with a classmate who is also waiting a year to begin kindergarten, the child of a dear friend of mine, a child WJ has played with many times before. The second play date was with twins, who until recently were our neighbors. While the three had never had an official play date, the twins were very familiar faces.
I must confess that I was a little worried about today. It felt like a turning point, officially switching over from one class to the other. WJ was nervous too. I spend yesterday afternoon trying to distract him from his instinctual plan to hoard his toys; he was making a mental list of everything the new friend would not be allowed to use.
But this morning his new friend arrived and it took nary a minute for the two to discover their connections. Costumes primarily.
First they were doctors and operated, albeit unsuccessfully, on WJ’s favorite stuffed pal, Doggie. The new friend did not seem turned off at all with WJ’s need for a funeral afterward, although he did fiddle quietly with the doctor tools while the eulogy droned on. Who could blame him, really? Now they have found knight costumes (Number One on yesterday’s list: Toys Not to Share) and are poking at each other’s shields playfully with drumsticks, since our swords are still MIA.
Making connections for your child before school begins is a smart idea if you can swing it. I believe it is going to help us go from dwelling on who is missing from his new class to a healthier focus on who will be present.
Choose carefully and choose only a few. If you are not certain about which children would be wise to pursue, it is highly likely that a teacher from the school, someone who knows the children who will be in the class, would be glad to make suggestions. Call the school to leave a message for him or her or, if you have time to plan ahead, ask for ideas before the school year is over.
While the idea of making new friends was monumentally terrifying, both for WJ and for me, these playtimes have largely turned in to giant love fests. They are helping us both begin to see this change with anticipation rather than with regret.
Reader Comments (3)
This is wonderful writing, Emily, and great advice! Your talents continue to amaze me...I'm still making your shepherd's pie bi-weekly and think of you each time! Great job!
Hey, Vicki. Thanks for reading and for your post!!
That recipe is the all time best quick and easy. And the love of a good hearty meal must be in our husband's German genes :-)
I punctuated that sentence poorly. It makes it sound like we share a husband. Of course, I meant husbands' instead. Vicki and I have two separate husbands. They happen to be cousins.